Dear Fellow Millennials,
On second thought, feel free to let Applebee’s wither away in 2018; is this supposed to look appetizing?
And I call it bad.
Every week, we take something known, something loved and the media says that we walk all over it like the army man scene in Toy Story.
But this week, we can’t do that. We destroy things that we love.
There are things in this world that are bigger than us. I’m aware that Katherine McPhee’s new album comes out this weekend and many of you are exhausted listening to the overused Star Wars Sith theme song being used in the background of every other commercial this fall, but we need to rise up, come together, and take part in a tradition way better than Thanksgiving dinner itself.
Sidebar: Thanksgiving food is overrated. I’m tired of dry mashed potatoes and turkey that’s more like jerky. I vote we destroy Thanksgiving next and let it become the taco truck holiday in America. What could be more American than putting minorities to work while all the white people sit around and stuff their faces? Except for the cranberry sauce; let’s keep the cranberry sauce with the tacos and just see where things end up.
Let’s digest some perspective on this rivalry between Stanford and Cal. We’ve all seen the, erhm, interesting band reputation of Stanford and I’m sure you noticed that Cal quarterbacks are having a little bit of NFL success right now.
Stanford currently holds the edge in the Big Game historically, and has current possession of “The Axe” after last season’s 45-31 win over the Golden Bears. The Axe itself is quite the interesting story; the Cardinal cheer team first brought out the now prized trophy in 1899 as a symbol of competitive annihilation by decapitating a straw man dressed in blue and gold ribbons on the field. An interview request was sent to the straw man for his own account on the story, but his voicemail mumbled something about “Kobe over Lebron” and “rings matter more than stats.”
March 19, 1892 – The First Big Game
As the story goes, Herbert Hoover was worse as a Stanford student manager back in the 1890s than he was as a President. While Hoover manager to get 20,000 people into old Haight Street Ground on that spring day (more than any Chargers’ home game since 2014), he forgot to supply a football for the game that day. Luckily, the local sporting goods store owner brought their sturdy horse to the game and rode downtown to acquiesce a football in time for the game….to start over an hour late. Conspiracy has it that this exact scenario was Hoover’s first experience with depression like symptoms, later found contagious by the entire country. Stanford wins 14-10, and doesn’t lose until 1898.
November 20, 1982 – The Big Game Your Parents Always Talked About, aka The Play
No need to over chat about this one; let’s just watch and listen.
November 17, 1990 – Revenge of the Play
Featuring current Stanford head coach David Shaw and current NFL parent Ed McCaffrey, Stanford scores 9 points in 12 seconds to shock the Cal team at Berkeley’s Memorial Stadium.
Those are by far the most notable games of the 119 that have been played, but don’t forget about axe thefts, field rushes, and ceremonial impaling of stuffed bears on private college campuses (nope, you read that correct).
The Big Game sounds like an overhyped matchup between two teams that can’t live up to expectations, but it’s more about the camaraderie between fans and players alike that continues to bring a subtle feeling of hate mixed with nostalgia to the table.
So millennials, won’t you join me in
killing the Big Game keeping the Big Game traditions alive? This Saturday, when the kicker takes to field to enjoy the only low pressure moment of the rest of his day at kickoff, find your dearest stuffed bear and hold it tight for the next 3.5 hours unless you’d like a Stanford fan to come tear it to shreds.